Advocacy means to speak on behalf of somebody
As parents you advocate for your children from the moment they become the center of your world, it is part of the job description! You have absolute authority because no-one knows your children like you do.
Before you even became Parent Advocates you were pretty accomplished self-advocates: used to figuring out what you need and making it happen, with varying rates of success of course. So if self-advocacy is a daily routine for us and advocacy for our children is a natural part of parenting, how can we use the same skills to navigate the somewhat unfamiliar territory of special education?
Truly no-one knows your child like you do, so find a clear, concise, and positive way to describe your child to her teachers. Never dismiss or ignore anything teachers say about your child. Treat the information as neutrally as you can and figure out how to use it to learn more about your child and her needs. Try to integrate all the information you receive to create a whole picture of your child.
Don’t spend time and energy disputing other people’s perspectives even if you think they are wrong. Remember, the IEP (Individualized Education Program) already contains your positive perspective on your child.
If information sounds very negative, ask the person to reword their thoughts in a positive way. If it conflicts with your picture of your child, remember that her behavior is a product of her environment and the relationships she has with the people she shares it with, try to change her environment and strengthen the relationships she has with others. It’s OK to have goals for your children and to expect other people to get excited about them also. If your goal is for your child to have a best friend at school or to learn to read, why would her teacher not want this too? Share your goals and ideas and invite teachers to share theirs also.
If you want to see your child achieve her goals, you have to be absolutely clear with yourself, and others, about what success will look like and what you are prepared to do to support your child in achieving the goal.
Focus only on the goal. The truth is that energy flows where the mind goes. Some healing may occur once your child starts to make progress towards the goal. Success feeds off success and pain feeds off pain, so choose success.
Never doubt your goal is achievable. If you feel discouraged hold onto the goal and decide if you need to take a different road to achieve it.
Make requests of people, and avoid making demands. Ask if people are willing to help you explore and idea or try something new. I find that people are more enthusiastic about pursuing their own goals and ideas than those that are imposed upon them. You can become an Educational Advocate.
Focus on relationships.
Filed under Parenting | Comment (0)Free Useful Advice About DNA Paternity Testing of Related Potential Fathers
DNA paternity testing of related potential fathers is not uncommon, although paternity in such cases is more difficult to prove beyond doubt. It is frequently possible if the relationship is known prior to testing, though in some such cases other evidence is generally required before paternity can be legally ascertained.
While positive DNA tests can be accepted as positive evidence of paternity in the vast majority of cases due the statistical improbability of potential fathers having the same DNA profiles, the situation is complicated if the possible fathers are related. It isn’t uncommon for brothers to be involved in a parentage dispute, or even for the mother to have the DNA test carried out privately to determine which is the father of her child.
In normal paternity disputes, whether or not DNA profiling is acceptable as the sole evidence depends upon the circumstances of the case, and it is generally wise to be able to prove the likelihood, or even just the possibility, of the mother and the possible father coming into contact with one another. In Islamic law a paternity test is not sufficient, and other evidence, preferably that of witnesses, is necessary.
The Legal Aspects
Where DNA paternity testing is to be used in evidence, courts will generally insist on a legal paternity test where the collection of the sampling is carried out by an authorized professional and the identity of the subject legally determined. Home DNA testing, or DNA tests on samples presented by the subject, is not admissible as evidence. The probability of paternity accepted as definitive proof varies from state to state, although a probability of 99% would seem reasonable where there is no doubt as to the source of the sample, and where no complications such as rape are involved.
The fact that parentage has been discounted in 99 men in 100 is a more positive identification of the father where there are limited possibilities than were the father potentially any individual in the general population such as occurs with rape. In that case a probability of 99.9% or higher would be more definite, together with additional proof of the likelihood of the suspect being in the vicinity.
Such probability is determined largely by the accuracy of the test that depends upon both the way it is carried out and the number of DNA indicators used (a good average would be 16), and is frequently as high as 99.99% or more. It also depends on whether the sample of the Mother is included in the testing or not, as this will help to obtain a much higher level of probability.
Common DNA between Family Members
DNA tests on related potential fathers are no different from those carried out on any other subject: it is the results that could potentially create problems. Take the case of first cousins: they share 12.5% of their DNA and so it will be more difficult to prove parentage. This sharing of DNA increases to 25% for uncles, nephews and half-brothers, and to 50% for sons, fathers and brothers of the person being tested.
DNA paternity testing on different members of the same family is not an uncommon situation, and can occur for a number of reasons, including:
a) Parentage of pregnancies arising from consensual and non-consensual relationships, although the former is by far the more common of the two.
b) Two family members each claiming parentage, whether or not the mother is claiming one or neither to be the father.
c) A brother desiring confirmation that he is the parent.
d) The mother, or potential mother, having a private test to assure herself as to who is the father.
e) A grown child confirming parentage, particularly where an inheritance could be involved.
There are others, but these are common reasons for legal and home DNA tests being carried out where potential fathers could be related. Standard DNA paternity testing statistics are based upon unrelated members of the public, and unless the laboratory carrying out the DNA testing has been informed of the relationship, the test results could be misinterpreted.
The Case of Identical Twins
Nevertheless, it is possible to test additional DNA markers if any of the above relationships are known, but not in one specific case. This is the case of identical twins. Normal twins occur when two eggs are fertilized by two sperm, and are no more alike genetically than were they siblings born years apart. Identical twins, however, are formed when one egg is fertilized by one sperm and then splits into two halves within the first 14 days for no known reason.
These twins share an identical genetic make-up and so their DNA is identical and indistinguishable from one another. There is no test that can determine which is the biological father of a child. Unless one is excluded for some reason, either could be the father and that is all that DNA testing can prove. The court would have to disregard DNA results and use other means to determine paternity.
Old-fashioned policing, therefore, still has a part to play where the related potential fathers are identical twins. Apart from this specific case, DNA paternity tests are not entirely foolproof since they rely on probability, but are virtually conclusive where you simply want confirmation of paternity. In such a case, a likelihood of 1 in a 1000 is a virtual certainty and where confirmation is required between a limited number of candidates, a 99.9% DNA genetic testing result is legal confirmation.
Looking for civil records or maybe you’d like to check someone’s arrest records? Look no further.
For more family and parenting matters - read working with children blog.
Filed under Family | Comment (0)Family Summer Vacations
Choosing the perfect summer vacation can be difficult, especially if you have a family. There area a number of vacation destinations that could be considered “family friend,” but not all are. As a parent, you may be wondering how you can find the perfect summer vacation destination for your family.
When traveling with children, the guidelines used to select a vacation destination change. Instead of choosing a cheap vacation destination or one that is guaranteed to offer excitement, you will need to keep your family in mind.
You can do so by targeting your summer vacation destination to the ages of your children. There are a large number of vacation activities that are only suitable for children of a certain age. You are advised to keep these activities in mind when selecting a destination.
Planning a family vacation around your children may seem difficult, but it is something that all parents must to. Afterall, you need to get away from the lawn care and other chores at your house, so find a way!
In addition to offering overnight accommodations, beach resorts have a number of other services and features. Onsite accommodations often include room service, in-room internet hookup, fitness centers, and onsite restaurants. In addition to offering a large number of hotel services, many beach resorts offer vacationing services to their customers. These services may include guided fishing tours, swimming lessons, and much more.
If you are interested in vacationing at a beach along the coast, you have a number of options. Almost all states, including those located up north, have ideal summer vacation spots. Popular coastal beaches include, but are not limited to, Long Island, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Virginia, California, Texas, Oregon, and Washington.
As previously mentioned, coastal beaches are popular vacation destinations. If you are looking for a secluded vacation destination, that is still considered a beach, you are encouraged to examine inland beaches. Many popular inland beaches can be found in Upstate New York, Central Florida, Wisconsin, and Michigan.
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As with most other summer vacation destinations, you are encouraged to make the appropriate travel plans and overnight accommodations ahead of time. A large number of beach hotels and beach resorts allow online reservations. Once you have decided on a particular vacation destination, you should be able to book your vacation reservations in a matter of minutes. All you need is an acceptable form of payment, often a credit or debit card, and you can relax until your vacation date arrives.
If you love the beach, why settle for a summer vacation that leaves you bored and disappointed? Beach lovers rejoice and spend your summer at the sunny destination of your choice.
Filed under Parenting | Comment (0)